Aches and Pains

I've never been very good at slowing down and resting as much as I need to. So naturally, there comes a point where it all becomes too much, and my body forces me to rest. This time, it is coinciding with physical illness. My thyroid condition is acting up. It's something very easily remedied, but it takes time for the new dosage of medication to work itself into my system. Until it does, I'm stuck feeling exhausted all the time. Just trying to muster the energy to get out of bed some mornings is a huge feat. The periodic sense of vertigo gets to be incredibly frustrating. My joints ache.

But the thing that bothers me most is the way this all affects my mind. With my hormones all messed up like they are right now, I can't focus very well. I am more easily distracted than usual (and I'm pretty easy to distract in the first place!). My memory isn't working at the speed I'd like it to. It's frustrating to try to hold a conversation, and lose focus midway through a sentence in an attempt to remember what word you wanted to say. Or forgetting completely what it was that I was talking about. Even if I write things down (which I nearly always do), I end up forgetting things. It's frightening.

Sure, it all goes back to normal once my hormones settle again. But until then, it's rather like sitting in the middle of a room filled with really thick fog. You can wave your arms around all you want, and shine tons of light everywhere, but you still can't see what it is you are trying to see on the other side of the room. Yet you know exactly what the room is like. You've spent forever in this room, and can describe every minute detail of it when the fog isn't around.

I have a tendency to get very cranky when I'm all out of sorts like this. So I have to stop and remind myself every now and then that this is temporary. This all goes away, and things return to normal. It's going to require a lot more patience than I'm willing to give, but I'll make it through this just fine, as I have every time before.

~*~

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.

2 Corinthians 4:16